Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Time is Big Money

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For all of you that think shopping is patriotic I give you:

Watch Where You Spend Your Money

Plato said, "The greatest wealth is to live content with little." That quote is lost to purchasers of the, "Day & Night" wristwatch by Swiss watchmaker, Romain Jermome. There were only 9 made and they sold out within 48 hours of going on sale. I use the word, "sale" lightly as the watches made with rusted steel from the Titanic sold for $300,000 each. You can look at this watch and say, "I'm on top of the world." The strangest thing is that the watches don’t tell the time, which really makes it a bracelet. Romain Jeromome says, the watch offers the new way of telling time. That is by just showing whether it’s day or night. In other words they are pretty much a sundial for people who are too lazy to look up and see whether the moon or sun is up. My initial thought about a watch that doesn’t tell time was, "When did Yugo start selling watches."

The concept of, "time is money" has now been replaced with, the idea that for the really wealthy it’s the ultimate luxury to take your time. If you're rich enough to buy this watch I’m sure anyone you're doing business with will wait on you.

What could be snobbier than a watch that doesn’t tell time? How about a watch you can’t even wear? "The T-oxy Concept" is also offered by Jermome. This wristwatch is made from non-stabilized rusted steel also from the Titanic. Oxygen will destroy the watch so it must be displayed in a dome case filled with argon. This watch comes with no guarantee because it is extremely corrosive. With steel from the Titanic wearing these watches is creepy because you have a tombstone for a mass grave on your wrist. I wouldn’t want to be reminded of all those horrible deaths on the Titanic very time I looked at my watch to see if it was day or night.

I’m rich in my own way because I have two useless watches that don’t tell time. They are a couple of Timex watches in my nightstand that need batteries. Being a little better with my money than the suckers that bought Jerome’s watches I’ve found it cheaper to pick up a new watch at the Dollar Store than buy batteries for my defunct watches. If I was even able to pay $300,000 for a watch I’d not only want it to tell time I’d want it to let me travel through time.

I started wondering what else the other half (or should I say the top 5%) waste money on so I did some web surfing and came across, Bornrich. org. This site has everything needed for the rich to pimp their world. For example if a watch that reminds you of thousands lost at sea isn’t gruesome enough for you how about a "Coffin Couch?" Since the law doesn’t allow the use of used coffins they are made into furniture that’s to die for. Don’t ask me where used coffins come from because I don’t want to know. I suspect when you’re wealthy there is nothing that isn’t available for purchase.

Other items found at this site for the home that are about as useful as a screen door on a submarine are: diamond studded laptops, bamboo laptops, a LCD display Digital Cutting Board, a $60,000 poolside lounge chair, a $25,000 Ferrari go-kart, or boots with a built -in Gameboy. Worried about security? How about a $12,000 bulletproof bicycle? If you’re on a budget you can buy just the bike frame for $7,000. Maybe some armor for your dog or a $60,000 18K gold, diamond studded mini-revolver for your bodyguard.

My parents taught me that a fool and his money are soon parted. As I got older I learned on my own that the best thing about life isn’t things at all.

Jeromone watch info:titanic watch

Only in America will idiots buy these watches. Jay and the Americans:Only in America

I'm an "Outsider" because I don't want a Jeromone watch and "Time Won't Let Me" Live Long Enough to Afford One. "Time Won't Let Me"The Outsiders

Money Song: Muppets

"I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for themselves." - Bruce Grocott

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